Val de Liso
by mykonosparadise
Summary: The German brothers are on a vacation. Ludwig accuses his brother of wasting too much money and Gilbert wants to teach him how to survive without any money. A bet ensues. Will Gilbert survive the bet? Or, moreover, will Ludwig survive the bet?


**Title: _Val de Liso _**_(you don't have to google, the name doesn't mean anything. Well, it does, but that's not the point…)****_

**Character(s):** Germany, Prussia**__**

**Warnings: **AU-ish, foul language, using human names, poor attempts on humor, not Beta'd****

Summary: The German brothers are on a vacation. Ludwig accuses his brother of wasting too much money and Gilbert wants to teach him how to survive without any money. A bet ensues. Will Gilbert survive the bet? Or, moreover, will _Ludwig_ survive the bet? _(omg what a crappy summary /is shot)_

**Written for the summer fanworks exchange at meinbruder for absoluteforever **

**- Val de Liso -**

The second Gilbert stepped inside, he was met with a horrifying sight.

Resisting the urge to drop the bags onto the floor - which would have ended up ugly considering there were several glass bottles inside and the entrance hall was tiled - he closed the door shut, pushing it back with a leg, and set a determined glare.

"What in fucking hell?" He demanded, staring at his brother's form in the kitchen, visible from his current place.

Ludwig turned around slowly, stopping with his doings altogether – which included washing dishes – and glanced at the platinum-blonde over his shoulder.

"What's wrong with you, why are you swearing?" The younger male skipped the 'idiot' he wanted to add, keeping his volume low, though he would have rather shouted.

Gilbert wandered off into the living room, dropped his cargo on the table where they usually ate and swiftly returned to the kitchen, in quick steps, wildly gesticulating at his brother who never bothered to change his position, wonder-struck.

"We are on a bloody holiday – and you are washing dishes!" He poked the blonde's shoulder, as if trying to prove his point.

Ludwig then turned to face him, staring at his sibling with a scoff.

"Someone has to do it, Gilbert. And I know for sure that you wouldn't do the work voluntary." The blonde dismissed him with that, going back to where he has stopped, „I don't see why washing dishes is supposed to be wrong. A little bit of housework wouldn't damage your health, brother."

Gilbert huffed out indignantly.

"This isn't even your own house!"

Seeing that it was pointless to wait for his brother to give a reply, Gilbert rolled his eyes and marched towards the living room again.

"Sometimes, Ludwig... sometimes you're so un-awesome..." The grumble reached the said man's ears, causing him to merely shake his head in return.

After finishing the work Gilbert seemed to detest so passionately, Ludwig joined his brother, for the sound of the plastic bags perked his interest.

"What is all of this?" He required, seeing how the table became a mess ever since Gilbert returned from the shopping, various products scattered all over the pane – least of those they really needed.

"_Beer_~" Gilbert announced in a sing-song voice and lifted two six-packs of said alcohol up.

Alright. That they needed. Ludwig wouldn't complain about beer.

"And the rest?" He asked, taking a colorful box of something that screamed microwave food, „What is this?"

"Are you my mother or what?" The older man snatched the item away from his brother's hand, „I wanted these, so back off."

Ludwig's brows creased dangerously, creating a glare that would have made Feliciano squeak in fear.

"Gilbert, give me the bill." The younger one demanded.

Gilbert did, after rummaging through the bags, practically showing it in front of the other's face, one would say almost proudly.

Ludwig's jaw dropped.

The third number was definitely one too much.

He snatched the piece of paper away, bringing it even closer, eyes scanning the long list.

"Was all of this really necessary!" Gilbert would have probably laughed at Ludwig's octave higher voice wasn't it for the fact that the blond seemed pissed.

Gilbert waved him off nonchalantly.

"Don't get your panties in a twist – only some food, no need to panic."

"_Some_ food!" Ludwig was loosing his cool with every passing second, „Do you think we grow money on trees, Gilbert?" In inability to do something more effective, he groaned in frustration, face-palming upon seeing the numbers again, „I swear to God, Gilbert, you wouldn't survive a damn day without money..." He finished in a calmer but desperate voice. No need to yell anymore, no use crying over spilt milk.

"Hey, hey! Hold the fuck up for a second." Gilbert said in a surprisingly serious tone,"I'm afraid you're assuming wrong things there, brother." Hands lifted for emphasis - the move reminded on someone who was about to give up - he saw Ludwig sliding the hand down enough to give him a look.

"Care to tell me what's wrong with my conclusion?" Ludwig wanted to know and Gilbert waved a finger at him in a scolding manner.

"My dear baby brother," Ludwig felt his right eyelid twitch, „I need to teach you a lesson. A man with the awesome of mine can survive a day without any money at all, do you want to make a bet?"

"Gilbert, stop with that, I'm serious." Ludwig scowled again impatiently, dismissing his rambling.

"Hey." Gilbert grabbed him by the upper arm before taking his wrist in a forced handshake, „I'm serious too. I can survive without the money, let's make a bet."

Ludwig watched their locked hands for few moments, pondering about how to react, then glanced up at the other, giving him a cynical look.

"Alright..." He said, quietly but intelligibly, and they shook hands in a silent agreement. „What do I have to do if I loose?" He didn't really believe Gilbert would make it, but he wouldn't tell him that.

"I'll think of something, no worries." The older male gave that famous grin which made him nearly close his eyes. Ludwig didn't like it at all, but he didn't comment.

"And no stupidities, please." He warned.

"Never~" Gilbert answered in a sing-song voice again, making Ludwig already regret his decision.

* * *

"Alright! Brother? Are you ready for some fun?"

Ludwig heard his brother's enthusiastic voice as soon as he entered the rented apartment.

In the next moment, Gilbert appeared in the hall to greet him and was met with a sweaty Ludwig who had an air-mattress under one arm, a towel and a bag in the other and a backpack full of food on his back.

The younger German returned from the beach, wanting to follow Gilbert who disappeared several hours ago and never returned to inform him where he went or when he'll return. He suspected he would find him here.

"You need a shower first." Gilbert started, ignoring the look of confusion Ludwig was giving him, „Then put some fancy clothes on – your bro is taking you out on a dinner -„

"What is the meaning of this?" Ludwig interrupted and placed the heavy things on the tiles.

"The bet, brother, the bet..." The older one reminded kindly, „I didn't eat any of that food you brought to the beach, you can check the fridge too – in other words, I didn't spend a cent today. And not only that..." Gilbert made a dramatic pause and Ludwig considered slapping his own forehead then, „I will be as gracious as to take you out on a free dinner."

Ludwig stared at him for some more, trying to process everything he just heard – the fact that Gilbert was directly involving him in the whole event irritated him yet made him amused at the same time.

"And how will you pay for that?" He made the decision to participate in the game, causing his brother to grin in response.

"Who said I'd pay?" Gilbert asked mysteriously, leaving his brother puzzled.

* * *

What Ludwig was seeing pleased him.

Not only was the bet over before it even began, but Gilbert would embarrass himself with that wagering and bragging about.

The older sibling decided they should 'take a walk' through one of the shopping malls before the dinner.

The car made a halt and he reached through the opened window to take the parking ticket from the machine and waited for the boom-barrier to rise. Even though the ticket is payed on the exit, the result was clear – they already spent money on a ticket, which automatically meant-

"The bet is still due." Gilbert spoke, interrupting his train of thoughts. Was he reading his mind?

"How do you intend on paying it, dear brother?" Ludwig asked, putting great efforts and endeavors into attempts not to sound satirically.

The bet was ridiculous.

But never underestimate Gilbert.

"Nothing simpler than that. Once we're finished here, you'll return to the entrance and I'll press the ticket button again. The boom-barrier raises up. All you have to do is to drive out."

Ludwig sputtered.

* * *

And even more surprises were about to come.

"Please remind me again, what are we doing here?" Blue eyes scanned the finely arranged drug-store, Gilbert on his right, with a brilliant smile on his features, „You came to look at these things?" The blond guessed.

"Slight corrections required,"Gilbert began didactically, „I came here to _use_ those things."

Ludwig quirked an eyebrow in sincere wonder as he watched, from the corner of his eye, how his brother passed the salesgirl without giving any reverence at all and came to stand in front of the sliding glass-cabinet. Dozens of methodically aligned bottles of perfume on the other side were attracting the customers' attention and money.

Gilbert didn't lie with what he had told him a second ago.

He found what he was looking for and decided to make use of the free tester, applying a generous amount of the fragrant substance on himself. It was painfully obvious what he was doing there.

Ludwig wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

* * *

Indeed, Ludwig regretted taking a part in this, cursed the day when he agreed to this stupidity.

In front of him – the entrance to a gaudy-looking hotel, four stars, people walking in and out through the sliding-door. A huge reception area, the hall leading to the rooms on one side, the entrance to the dining-room on the other. The way to the dining-room seemed to be long, consisting of something that resembled a glass-hall, visible to them even from where they were currently standing.

What were they doing here? What was _he_ doing here, for God's sake?

Gilbert started walking, towards the entrance – much to Ludwig's regret – making his worst suspicions rise.

His brother was good five meters ahead of him by now, so he moved as well, catching up with his brother.

And Ludwig realized then.

The closer they got, the harder his heart was beating – not only in suspicion now, but in fear also.

"What are we doing, Gilbert?" He forced himself to ask. No doubt, the voice betrayed some of his emotions, he could practically feel his brother radiating triumph at his suffering.

"We're going in." The older sibling informed, almost carelessly, and Ludwig came to a halt abruptly.

He wanted to shout at Gilbert. But he couldn't.

_Oh God_, he couldn't...

What happened to his voice?

Gilbert took him by the arm and practically dragged him inside.

By now, Ludwig had serious breathing-problems. Not that anyone noticed that.

He finally understood Gilbert's intentions. He wanted to sneak in, mix with the hotel guests and enjoy in the buffet without giving a cent.

"You can't be serious. How will you-„ _'How will _we_'_ he corrected himself inwardly, „- pull this, how -„

"We just need to make it through the entrance of the dining-room, to deceive the attendant. Once we're in, everything will be alright – we're safe."

_'Once we're in _nothing_ will be alright!'_ Ludwig wants to yell, to cry out, but his traitorous voice is gone again.

The receptionists didn't even spare them a glance, taking them for guests of the hotel. Ludwig gave his brother a look, he hates to admit it, but it's a desperate one. He doesn't want to do this.

To be arrested and to be humiliated because of a stupid bill and a useless bet.

What was Gilbert trying to do here? To prove him that he could without money, that he was fearless? That he was awesome? Or was he pulling this for the sake of punishing _him_?

He didn't know, he couldn't even think straight anymore. With every new step, the heart pounded harder, raced, loud in his ears.

"You idiot." He managed to hiss, "She'll recognize we didn't pay. She knows the guests." He referred to the female attendant who was standing on the very entrance.

"Don't be dumb, do you really think she can remember every single person – look around you, there are at least hundred people in here right now." Gilbert sounded too serious and too confident for Ludwig's liking.

The smiling woman had something that resembled an opened book in front of her.

Numbers!

Those were room-numbers – they were officially screwed, they couldn't even go back now, it was too late.

He couldn't look her in the eye, inwardly hoping, _pleading_, that his brother had some kind of an awesome plan to get them out of there. He looked at everything but her. Eyes fell onto his watch, he fumbled around it- well, fuck that. He straightened his t-shirt, getting rid of invisible speckles of dust–

"Good evening, gentlemen. You room, please." The not too cheerful yet pleasant voice greeted them.

"_Hundert und eins_." Gilbert winked with a smirk that Ludwig didn't see, too busy wondering why he was speaking in German.

"_Danke, meine Herren. Guten Appetit_." The brunette addressed them in perfect German and offered a smile again.

Ludwig can't even look up at her, he's too afraid.

And, _finally_, they are moving again, away from the damned entrance. Ludwig doesn't know where to watch, his brain a mess.

He wants to strangle his brother for doing this shit to him, but he isn't even capable of uttering a word. Nervous as hell, paranoia tearing him apart, only one thought in his mind – to disappear from here as soon as possible.

Most tables are occupied, people already started with their dinner.

Ludwig dared to throw a look around the huge room and spotted few tables free in the furthest corners, away from the crowd.

Perhaps that wasn't the best idea after all – it would look suspicious.

And why were the people staring at them? Ludwig was getting nervous. Was it obvious? Will someone understand what was happening there? How could Gilbert even be sure there were more than hundred rooms?

Even if there were, what if exactly that one was vacant? Or worse – what if the occupants of that room already came to the dinner?

Sweat broke out on his forehead, he became aware of it. Good thing he didn't gel his hair back that day.

Nearly clinging to his brother, not wanting them to separate accidentally – not even for a second – he watched how the platinum-blond took a clean plate and tapped against his chin in indecision – such wide choice of food. Gilbert wanted to try everything.

"Why are they staring at us?" The younger German asked in a quick whisper, taking advantage of the clamor.

Gilbert tore his gaze away from the fuming containers to give his brother an inquisitive look.

"Oh, that's obvious." He scanned the surroundings to see if it was true, "They don't see such awesome-looking guys everyday, you know." And, of course, he gave that grin, patting Ludwig's shoulder encouragingly. "Relax. Enjoy in the food." He added mockingly, knowing full well that it was impossible, treating himself with generous portions of food before he left Ludwig there.

He wanted to disappear, evaporate in the air, fall over and die. Anything, just to be out of here. He felt trapped.

He didn't even dare to try to go out of the hotel without Gilbert now.

Oh, the irony.

Only his brother, the initiator of this illegal doing, was now preventing him from panicking.

And there was the loud heart-beating again. Even his own breathing irritated him – to him, it appeared to be too loud.

Will they be caught?

Did Gilbert really expect him _to eat_ something?

He was nervous and nervousness made him loose his appetite. That was enough to keep him sated.

Three meters away from him, Gilbert was calling him loudly and pointing at something in front of himself rudely, more reminding on a spoiled brat than on an adult man, and Ludwig, at latest then, considered swatting him.

The older man calls again, Ludwig doesn't hear him, and he doesn't answer either.

Instead, he circles the group of people next to him and hurries to Gilbert, inwardly hoping the idiot will stop with the annoying behavior. Just as he reached him, his brother left him alone anew.

"I'll find a free table outside." It was everything he said before strolling over towards the balcony.

He was thankful for that – at least they would be outside – but the thought of being alone again confused him. He felt lost.

A look to the side and he found out what the whole fuss from earlier was about.

Wurst.

There was a container full of warm, tasty, meaty wurst.

He took two, then quickly added another one – you can never know – avoiding looking into the employer's eyes throughout the ordeal.

He was going to hell for this. At least he'd have company there in form of his brother. Perhaps not the best company in the world...

After taking the needed cutlery, he went to find the other blond and saw him beside a table outside, his _plates_ placed on the decorated table.

"Wait, I'll be right back – I saw ice-cream." That said, Gilbert went in again, disappearing from his sight and Ludwig swore – that avidity will be the end of him someday. Gluttony wasn't one of seven deadly sins for nothing.

He was left alone for the fourth time that day – he didn't forget Gilbert's disappearance from the beach that morning.

Without realizing it, he kept standing there for a good minute, thinking.

With his cheeks heating up in uneasiness, he sat down rigidly, seeing that he had attracted unwanted attention. He cleared his throat, a little bit too loudly perhaps, and looked at the food on the table.

He sighed.

With God's help and without devil's interference, they'd be able to survive this. Hopefully...

"Good evening, sir. Would you like something to drink?"

His head shot up, startled by the sudden question and caught a waitress watching him with a small smile.

He nearly got a heart-attack. Why wasn't Gilbert here?

His gaze fell onto the tea-trolley with the beverages.

His mouth opened, but nothing came out.

Hold on-

Perhaps he should speak in German.

"_Nur Wasser, bitte_." His voice sounded weak. Too weak. He cleared his throat again.

"_Und für die andere Person_?" She retorted immediately.

"_Orangensaft_." He said quickly, not even checking the choice. The first thing that fell onto his mind.

The beverage was placed in front of him.

"_Guten Apetit_."

Oh thank God, she was gone.

Where for heaven's sake was his brother?

Why was he taking so long? Did they find out?

He turned around just in time to see Gilbert returning.

"Oy, did you start yet?"

Was it possible to have the wish to hit someone yet hug them close at the same time?

"I hate you." Ludwig said quietly in response as Gilbert took his seat, two bowls full of ice-cream in each hand. The other only laughed at that, visibly amused.

Dear heaven, what was wrong with that unscrupulous man, Ludwig asked himself.

"Do you understand this is not legal. It's not a game, Gilbert!" He reminded in a hushed tone.

"Oh, come on – they would throw away half of the food anyway. We're just doing them a favor." Gilbert countered, having expected the lecturing. „And what's with your plate anyway? Half empty?"

"Half-full doesn't equal empty, Gilbert." He corrected. _'Not everyone is an animal like you...'_ He almost added.

"And how can you expect me to fucking enjoy in the food in these conditions, you're gone cr-„

Taking over the role of the reprover, Gilbert lifted his hand in a 'that's enough' gesture.

"Ludwig." He scolded, „You're beginning to sound rude. And that must mean something, 'cause it's coming from me."

"I see." The reply came after a short pause, Ludwig's voice heavy with sarcasm.

"I'm glad you do. Now dig in."

* * *

Arm wound around his brother's shoulder, self-satisfied, grin present, tummies filled, Gilbert led Ludwig away from the hotel, far away from it, happy that everything went according to his plan.

And because he won the bet, of course.

The younger blond hid his face behind a palm, and although he could breathe again freely, shame returned with full force as he remembered the warm smile and the 'Enjoy your evening' they received on their way out.

He felt like a criminal.

"I believe... I don't care about the bet anymore, brother. That you had to suffer inside is punishment enough, eh...?" Gilbert nudged him with a little snicker.

Yes. He felt like a fucking criminal...

**- The End -**

**A/N: Finally finished, arghhhh...**

Want translations? I was too lazy - will add later...


End file.
